It’s weird to meet this way.

For starters, I’m not even aware that we’re currently meeting.

But let’s pretend I am. Hi, I'm Derek. I love the shirt you’re wearing! (Please, be wearing a shirt. God, it’d be so weird if you were looking at ads I made for YETI, Case Knives, Zippo, Chaco, Shiner, Guitar Center, Frost Bank, Whataburger, Royal Caribbean, Bloomberg Sports, Trident White, Skinny Cow, Haggar and Merrick without wearing a shirt. Also, pants.)

Let’s assume you’re wearing a shirt, pants (preferably shoes), and are NOT covered in Cheetos dust with the lights oddly dimmed… I’m a creative director and writer in Austin, and I've been fortunate enough to earn a One Show Merit, some National Addys, OBIEs and a few dozen Austin Addys. Some of the stuff I’ve worked on has also been featured in CA Annuals, ARCHIVES, Ads of the World, Adweek, and Modern Copywriter. You know, it’s honestly weird to talk about myself, so what about you? What have you been up to? Are you here with Grayson? Oh, Sheila? I haven’t met her.

Look, I don’t want to be rude, but this is getting weird. I’m just going to paste the rest of the stuff below. We never should have met this way.

Freelance (Austin)
Creative, writing, thinking: 2019 – right now

McGarrah Jessee (Austin)
Creative Director:  2015 – 2019
Senior/Writer: 2010 – 2015

JWT (New York)
Writer: 2007 – 2010

Education (Austin)
University of Texas: Graduated 2006

Permed Mullet (Irving)
Hey, Billy Ray Cyrus was popular: 1994

Lived in a Trailer (St. Louis)
Humble beginnings: 1984 – 1993

Nancy & Mike Go Camping (Central Missouri)
I'd rather not go into details: Memorial Day weekend 1983


Instagram: @derekthebishop

Other Instagram: @derekthesketcher

Other Other Instagram: @whoseghostsarethese